Planning for the Future

With the near term set now, I want to try to find the positive in the events.

Lower Stress now: I'm tired, so first thing I'm going to try to do is rest more. That might be difficult without making L feel alone in her evening workings.

No more howling destructive dog around. Jeeves is so young and inexperienced compared to Joey. I was working in the back yard Saturday, Jeeves was sitting in the corner of the yard toward the 4 way stop just howling at every different car noise. I would laugh, reassure him he was doing a great job running off those big bad cars, trucks and buses. Either he felt he did enough or just got tired, but finally he had enough and went and laid down to bit on a chew toy. Meanwhile Joey, looked up each time from her sunny spot whenever I spoke with Jeeves and I imagined was smiling. Maybe it was a learning moment for the dog. Now I can devote some more time to rewiring the lighting he's torn up. Maybe the grass will come back and the garden will get prepared without pesky poop's everywhere.

We can clear out some of the old furniture. With the church garage sale coming up, I will consider donating a significant amount of furniture that is currently crammed into the house.

Maybe we can make one of the upstairs rooms into a music/recording studio. A place we can go to practice, play, relax and have fun.

All those extra dirty dishes that magically appeared in the kitchen sink throughout the day will be gone.

I won't have to wonder where that kitchen utensil went this time. They moved all the time. It was sorta a game we played. Where in the world is waldo, for the kitchen.

I don't need to leave the AC/Heat on during the day. I'll be able to reduce my exaggerated water and electricity bill.

Well I need to get back to it. More later.

It's not working out

To make this a win-win situation, Love and Logic suggest asking what is it we get out of your moving back in. The response you hope for is, oh I'll do the chores your doing, or I'll paint the garage or something. If that doesn't work then you have to become the landlord you are. If they don't contribute in a positive way but instead undermine the fleeting little respect other's have for us then it has become a loose-loose situation. We are not really helping anyone out by continuing to put up with it. Not that her moving in hasn't increased the contact and interaction (good and bad). But if I'm measuring whether I've gained anything, I have to say it's definitely been a negative gain on most fronts.

Anyone else want a border?

With love and logic I resign the position of designated flunky.

How do you convince someone their making a big mistake?

I don't know, but we have tried a bunch of different tactics. Attempts range from the chatting, offering bribes and consequences, washing away the ugly (my kids will relate).
Help

Back to the Grind

Today seems especially hard for me. Suffering from lack of sleep, I attempted to get up and get to work at a descent hour and only partially succeeded. Got there by nine but was in some what of a frumpy mood. I woke up at 7 am with Kt's departure for school in Freddy. Freddy for those who don't know is a 1980 4 Runner with a bunch of miles and a low pressure muffler system that rumbles sorta loudly. After she left, I thought for a second and realized how empty the house was, just L and I. Wow, how quiet and peaceful.

Ahhhhhh.

Don't get me wrong having all of the kiddo's and grand kiddos around was a bunch of fun, but it was tiring.

Not 15 minutes later I hear Freddy come rumbling back down the street, then a door slam, the front door slam, racing feet up the stairs and a hard knock on the door; A urgent and slightly freaked out Kt said, "I need some gas money, the gas warning light came on as I was on my way to school. " Little did she realize that a quick pull off of the road and a call back to us and I would easily explained that she had about 20 miles to go if the light just came on, plenty to drive to and from school.

After L raced around for a couple of minutes to find some cash, she ran back out the door, now hopeless late for dance try outs for modern.

And now we lay back down for one more minute of peace and can't get the whole Kt thing still going round in our heads.

The day went on with this mood for most of the day. I did take a short walk around the campus during lunch time. It had an energizing effect, especially with how cold it was. I was able to get some work done, still with a sorta half-hearted pace.

Home, and right to a meeting with a sales lady who we purchased long-term care insurance from. It's a lot less than I thought it would be.

Off to church for an hour or so to plan the music for Sunday. With that done I called my brother-in-law J. We had agreed to meet at the house. He was borrowing my USB HDTV stick for the big game Thursday.

Now it's time for a bit of sleep. Night all.

It just takes time

It's quiet here tonight except for the music I have playing. Raining outside. I've been wanting to organize myself, re-build a computer, edit a year old wedding video, tying to keep the hot tea flowing to sooth my throat. It just all takes time.

Time, Talents and Treasures. That's what the children's sermon skit was about today.

Time waisting was a depiction of TV watching. Truly a mind numbing time sink. I can too easily get hung up in watching movies.

Talents was shown as a young man playing a saxophone, afraid to play in front of the audience. Maybe I'm on the other end of the spectrum of this one, a bit over committed.

Treasure was shown as a cute girl in a Ben Franklin outfit screaming "It's all mine!" In my case I may have a good salary, it's not a certainty in these days and time. I can't presume that I am immune to the lay-off. Too many of my associates are there to say beware.

The pendulum of my priorities is shifting as I think of being an empty nester once more, to more of a focus on making sure my kids are not burdened with my care when I retire. I'm going to first get out of debt, then saving for an emergency fund (3-6 months of expenses), and finally pushing the retirement fund hard till I can't anymore. Live like no one else so that later we can live like no one else!

Then when I do retire, celebrate life some more. At least more than I already do. Spend time with my wife, kids and grandkids, not missing an opportunity to celebrate them. I also want to try to learn some more things, keep current with technology by designing some fun electronic gadgets and keep playing racquetball and golf, make some sawdust occasionally, and keep playing and singing.

Sounds like a good plan. Remind me that I wrote this, later, when I can't remember.

pbd

It comes to us all

Mortality is a fact of life - we are born, we live and we die. My father in law just passed away.

When family dies it makes me think about my own mortality.

I woke up very early from a dream earlier this week. In the dream, my sister said her son had just won the lottery but it was quickly stolen. For some reason I couldn’t go back to sleep. I laid in bed for about an hour making mental list of all the things I wanted/needed to do. I got up on the edge of the bed in the dark and proceeded to enter them all into my to-do list on my phone. At then end of it all, I set priorities and due dates for everything, putting off things that can wait. The process was freeing.

Who would do these things if I was to pass away? Would they still be important to anyone else? How much of what I do is because I'm able and willing, or is it I'm too cheap or too much a pack rat or.....

One of the questions I asked myself was "How much money would I be willing to spend to keep my kids alive? That was after I heard Dave Ramsey ask the question of a caller on his radio show. Without health insurance I would be probably go way in debt if there was some catastrophic event requiring hospitalization or surgery for any of them. I have three kids without health insurance. My highest priority is to provide them all health insurance, until such time as they have the means to get it on their own. This also will encourage me to help them get to that self insurability as soon as possible, right?

I'm knocking things off the list steadily. The AC is working a bit better, the sprinklers zones that were out are coming on again. I've ordered some parts for the car I'm selling. Work seemed to be on track until this morning when I found out the news of my father-in-law. The priorities change, new things get added, others fall off the list.

It reminds me of the movie "The Bucket List." If you haven't seen it go see it. A great movie.

What do I want to leave as a legacy?

What do I want to do before I die?

Vacation Strategy day ?

Seven Steps to a great day
Step 1. Sleep until you wake up. Stop counting the days.
Step 2. Enjoy a nice long walk or run. Take a nap if you can.
Step 3. Enjoy feeding Donovan and eating what's left over.
Step 4. Take a nap if you can.
Step 5. Eat lunch on the deck. Subway sandwiches today. Yum.
Step 6. Go to the beach and build a sand castle and dig a big hole in the sand that is so deep Donovan can use it as his own personal play lake.
Step 7. Put kids to bed and enjoy a night out with the wife.